Botanical Dimensions

I)

One of Norway's few webshops for electronic music is Biophon, run by none other than Geir "Biosphere" Jenssen. Predating the webshopping era, it was called Interphase up until ca. 1998 and sent out printed catalogues to the subscribers' mailboxes. I used to get them sent to me from 95 or 96 onwards; in fact I've kept one of them for nostalgia's sake [I used to put a pen mark next to records I wanted to check -- amusingly, in the one catalogue I've kept, I've put a question mark next to Monolake's Hongkong, apparently wondering if it was in fact any good. This is where abbreviations for "laughing out loud", or similar, come in handy.] Unfortunately I was a bit slow on picking up on things, so I didn't buy many of the Rather Interesting and Fax CDs he used to have, or some of the other rarities he offered -- still, I bought mint copies of the ART ep on R&S, some Hardwax records and Ectomorph's Subsonic Vibrations from him, so I managed to do something right. And Geir's entertainingly written, often semi-impenetrable reviews and obtuse writing style [in Norwegian] were always a source of both amusement and information for a knowledge-seeking techno kid in his early 20's. As the 90's progressed, he more or less stopped stocking techno vinyl as his focus increasingly shifted to obscure experimental music, whereas I discovered the internet and started using GEMM, so I more or less stopped buying records from him -- I'd send him an email maybe once a year or so.

Recently, however, several years after my last order, I decided to buy a couple of records that he's had in stock for 10 years if not more -- I remember seeing them in the very first catalogues I received:

Eo -- s/t [R&S, 1995] -- it's a testament to this label's incredible catalogue that even 10 years after they started going downhill, you can still discover gems you weren't really aware of. This overlooked, underrated sleeper probably arrived a year too late, as it was too deep, intricate and [whisper it] trancey in a year where trip hop, jungle and the Chicago and electro revivals received most of the attention. But when you think about it -- this release was conceived by two of the best producers on R&S, namely Marcos Salon and David Morley. The immediate standout cut is "A.D. 2600", which in my dream world is The Ideal Set Opener; subtle beats and Morley's cosmic pads sending you into orbit -- pure mesmerization. But don't overlook the others; OK, "Urban Ritual" noodles a bit, but the others contain some really interesting, unique sounding electronics -- "Suburban Ritual" sounds like it samples rave classic "Church of Extacy", and makes a lot more sense on 45 rpm pitched down to minus 8 than the 33 stated on the label. The only really bad thing about this release is the fact that it comes in a generic black sleeve rather than the standard R&S company jacket -- why?

Hazed -- Bells [+8, 1994] -- interestingly, this is produced by 1) a guy who's one half of the very uneven Rabbit in the Moon and 2) a guy who used to be one half of the mediocre Warp outfit Rhythm Invention. Yet this release is brilliant! "Bells" is the one for me -- trippy as fuck and with loads of unpredictable changes [but not in a proggy self-indulgent way] before it climaxes in a truly cataclysmic acid eruption.

So, there you have it -- two ageing techno records that Geir was probably very happy that he finally managed to get rid of -- yet more than ten years after they were released, they still sound like nothing else, and miles better than the current minimal glitchmicrotechhouse trend.

Oh, I just fucking love 90's techno.

II)

Biosphere has a new album out, too.

Dropsonde is released on Touch internationally [on both CD and vinyl], and Beatservice in Scandinavia.

After two fairly "out there" albums -- the Debussy-sampling impressionism of Shenzhou and the hyper-abstract Autour de la Lune -- Dropsonde for the first time sees Jenssen revisiting themes from earlier albums, as both the jazzed-up drum programming and the more sombre ambience excursions closely resemble 2000's Cirque. It's a startling record and a welcome re-introduction of human elements and warmth after the lacklustre, confusing and at times downright hostile experimentalism of Autour..., and surely destined to stand out as one of the best ambient-related works of 2006. The two first tracks set the standard; from the chilling, abstract opener "Dissolving Clouds", shuffling drums in 7/8 time and thin-air, yet inviting and soft shimmers of sound are introduced in the magnificent "Birds Fly By Flapping Their Wings". It's the aural eqivalent of parachuting from the end of the atmosphere and landing comfortably on a mountain plateau a few thousand feet above sea level. And this interplay between sparse, monochrome ambience and more colourful, yet restrained rhythmic elements continues throughout the album, which opens up a little more with each listen -- just like Biosphere releases usually do.

But however accessible Geir Jenssen chooses to be with regards to the music he releases, one of the Biosphere hallmarks has always been the uncompromising ethic surrounding his work, which [particularly when combined with his quiet-but-sharp, straight to the point one-liner style in conversations] can sometimes be mistaken for moody self-indulgence. Jenssen still lives in Tromsø, fairly isolated from any musical epicentres, and sporadic collaboration albums aside, he remains a somewhat introvert figure in the world of electronic music. The fact that he released the completely beatless masterpiece Substrata [1997] as a reaction towards the hype he experienced around "Novelty Waves", which was used in a Levi's commercial, speaks volumes about his feelings towards public exposure.

There's an insightful, albeit slightly tabloid recent interview with him here -- in Norwegian, unfortunately -- which gives some clues. He dramatically exclaims that Dropsonde "might be his last electronic album", and that he's more interested in pursuing field recordings and sound experiments rather than releasing music. And there are some gloriously politically incorrect statements, too -- one example: "I don't like jazz -- there's too much going on, too much sound... I'm looking for the parts where everything almost stops, where I can find a drum sound I can manipulate to the point where it's almost unrecognizable". He also elaborates on how "disturbing" he finds the live concept, emphasizing the meaningless amount of time spent on airports [yet hotel rooms provide an opportunity to "escape from e-mail hell" [*cough*] and actually make music -- most of Dropsonde was apparently recorded whilst touring].

However, anyone who's seen a Biosphere concert can tell that it's not only the travelling which troubles him about having to play live -- he actually detests standing on stage, too, which he was very open about when I interviewed him myself six years ago. One thing he found particularly nauseating was the fact that the audiences expected him to play Patashnik-era material, which stems from an astronomy-fixated period in his life, which he abandoned when he got married, had a kid and realized that our own planet is, when it comes down to it, the only one that matters a damn. [As a side note here -- I love both Biosphere's debut album Microgravity [1991] and its follow-up Patashnik [1994], although I can understand their critics who find the textures and themes a bit cliched [personally I agree with the notion expressed by a guy I know, who described Microgravity as "Geir Jenssen's pop album" -- with Patashnik being its darker, more claustrophobic twin brother, I might add]. However, I wouldn't want endless Biosphere releases with variations on that theme -- if I need space ambient music, those two discs and KLF's Jimmy Cauty's Space will do, thankyouverymuch].

Either way -- whether he enjoys it nor not, Biosphere plays live in Oslo this Saturday -- and I find it plausible that I'm going to be in the audience. I won't be yelling for an encore from his early 90's catalogue, but I'm not going to mind one either.

III)

Several Norwegian reviewers describe Dropsonde as "the best Biosphere album". They're wrong -- that title belongs to Substrata, a record I keep returning to, nine years after its release, and still feel that I don't really know.

The first time I heard Substrata was at a friend's place, six months before the album was released. My chum whose name shall not be mentioned had managed to acquire a cassette promo of the album, and after a night out clubbing, we decided to put it on for the first time.

After about 5 minutes, we realized that it was nothing like we expected -- no beats? We decided it was disposable new age wank, and our hearts sank because "Geir had lost it". My friend fell asleep.

Half a year later, the album was in the shops, and due to a long since abandoned "completist obligation" philosophy [a truly sad phenomenon] I purchased it, expecting to listen to it once before tucking it away in the shelf.

To cut a long story short -- Substrata is now one of my favourite albums.

Lesson learned: You really need to listen to Geir Jenssen's albums more than once.

IV)

Most of Biosphere's album discography can be downloaded legally on Shopsonic. For hardcopy collectors, ebay/gemm is the only way for the first three solo albums -- the others can be purchased from Geir himself.

I did Sweden, too

...but it's more than two weeks ago, and I cannot muster the inspiration to provide an account anywhere near as exhaustive as that Europe report.

My excuse for going was another Discogs meet, in Stockholm this time, and I was the only foreigner to attend. The Swedes like to call it "varannan", which might roughly translate to "tag-teaming" -- all attendees play tunes one after another, and try their best to follow the last person's choice of music [or, alternatively, ignore it altogether]. In between, copious amounts of alcohol is consumed [this is Scandinavia, after all].

Since this was in Sweden, I expected plenty of synth/EBM/industrial but there was actually less than expected. I brought a selection which I thought should be able to counter just about anything that might turn up. The entire rundown of the night [well, until everyone was too tired to write down their tracks] can be read here -- if you don't want to read all that, here are the tracks I played:

-- Helmer Bryds Eminent Five Man Quartet "Norge" [elegant self-mockery, or so I thought]
-- Bitstream "Monolith" [incroyable]
-- DumDum Boys "Metallic Hvit" [rock alibi]
-- Fun Boy Three "Life In General (Leewe In Algemeen)" [discogs classic]
-- O'Jays "I Love Music" [self-explanatory]
-- Eno/Byrne "America is Waiting" [pure techno!]
-- Evil AD "Spiral Front" [mental]
-- Bel Canto "Unicorn" [best Norwegian song ever -- well, maybe]
-- Holy Ghost - Untitled bonus track from "The Mind Control of Candy Jones" CD [to satisfy the Industrial heads]
-- Logo "Businessmen" [another discogs classic]
-- Public Relation "Eighty Eight (Instrumental)" [superb New Beat]
-- Dizzee Rascal "I Luv U" [gabba]
-- Electribe 101 "You're Walking (Ambient Groove Mix)" [forgotten masterpiece]
-- a-ha "The Swing of Things" [Oh yes!]
-- Erik Satie "Sonatine Bureaucratique" [before someone played an interpretation of 4:33...]
-- Pet Shop Boys "It Must Be Obvious" [tucked away on a B-side... why?]

...all in all, sufficiently across the board and not painfully über-hip, I'd say.

Great tracks played by others included:
-- Jóhann Jóhannsson "Odi Et Amo"
-- Virtus "Catalepsy"
-- Current 93 & Nurse With Wound "Nichts"
-- System 01 "Drugs Work"
-- André Walter "Äquinox"
-- Imminent Starvation "Lost Highway 72"
-- Jesse Somfay "This Fragile Addiction"
-- Rrine "Ufot Pid"
-- Hamilton Bohannon "Dance Your Ass Off"
-- Ennio Moricone "We Can Fight"
-- Eurythmics "This City Never Sleeps"
-- Ultravox "Mr X"
-- Gary Numan "Cars"

-- and last but not least Battle Of The Future Buddhas "Natt", which those useless people at Schlabbaduerst seemingly don't want to sell to me [no reponse to emails anyway] -- shame, cos it's easily the best doom-laden techno-psytrance I've heard for fucking ages. OK, that's not saying much, but really -- it's ace.

Frankly though, this whole meeting thang was an excuse to visit Stormbringer and the record shops in Stockholm. The last time I was here I came back with 60 records; "only" 30-35 this time, but some real treasures. Don't worry, I'm not going to go through each and every one of them, but some highlights included a Neuropolitique on Irdial, two Sub Systems on Atom, the original RJ's Rule on Tink!, X-Crash on Injection, the Dream Tec album on U-Trax [a label I'm afraid I'm going to have to get completist with -- my wallet hurts already], and the first Colone on Labworks.

I've never managed to get my head around Stockholm's goegraphy, as the city and its many suburbs are confusingly scattered across a number of islands -- fortunately my guide happened to know where all the record shops were [well, of course]. The best one is definitely Mosebacke, where I managed to browse through maybe 1% of their stock. I found the ridiculously rare first Source EP on Ohm here, which I had already but traded for some real treats a few days later [cheers mayday]. Snickars moved to a new place only a week before I arrived, and although they're a bit pricey, their selection is worth it, and they're easily the best organized of the shops in this city. Skivbörsen was a bit less rewarding [located on the somewhat legendary St: Eriksgatan, Stockholm's answer to Berwick Street], however I found a Freq on Matrix here, and some other good bits.

Parting thoughts? Oh, I dunno -- whenever I've been to Sweden I want to say something about the peculiarities of their society and mentality, probably because Swedes are essentially extremely similar to Norwegians, which makes it tempting to get disproportionately fascinated by the miniscule differences. However, let the parting thought be this one: Enduring a 7-hour bus journey in the middle of the night after an exhausting weekend which included the consumption of 30 pints and a total of 12 hrs of sleep in 3 nights, while being too tired to read yet not tired enough to get any sleep, is a character-building experience.

Aural [Dis]Satisfaction

New records!!!!!

Good:

Dub Tractor -- Hideout [City Centre Offices] -- not my favourite album from Anders Remmer [and I have plenty of them, believe me!], but he successfully incorporates elements of pop music here [always an accessible, melodic kid at heart, Remmer started his career in Danish pop band How Do I in the late 80's] -- and his discreet vocals and guitar meanderings work very well in his usual seductive delay/reverb-heavy, glitchy, atmospheric IDM [or whatever you want to call it]. Best thing on CCO for a while

Off The Sky -- It Is Impossible to Say Just What I Mean [Stilll] -- releases of the "abstract IDM meets glitch meets post rock" variety usually bore me, as they rarely seem to offer anything beyond postmodern wallpaper. Not so here. Can't quite put my finger on just what it is that sets this apart from, for example, that adequate but fairly unspectacular first release on this fledgling Belgian label [Arden's Conceal] -- perhaps it's the fact that Jason Corder aka Off The Sky sounds like a bloody romantic who just happens to be working with modern-day tools? Very nice record, anyway

Clogs -- Lantern [Talitres] -- improv-meets-classical-music combo -- which doesn't sound noodly! Whatever will they think of next? [OK, a bit of noodling towards the end, but some really lovely ditties before that, promise]

Biosphere -- Dropsonde [Touch/Beatservice] -- a welcome return to form. More about this later

Not all that:

Miwon -- Pale Glitter [City Centre Offices] -- microglitchhouse-pop with that typical thin software sound. Predicted shelf life: oh, two months at best [although I quite like "Spiralize"]

Guitar -- Tokyo [Onitor] -- mostly istrumental concept album about Japan. Yep, you guessed it: loads and loads of Koto sounds. Albeit pleasant, it's too lightweight for any Lost in Translation associations

The Embassy -- Tacking [Service] -- Swedish New Order clone. Some catchy songs, but terribly samey after a while. And the electronics are as dated as they come

Below average:

Burnt Friedman & Jaki Liebezeit -- Secret Rhythms 2 [Nonplace] -- no improvement from vol. 1. Tame, lukewarm world-jazz-dub-electronics with no hooks or atmosphere, and Jaki's drumming makes no impact whatsoever. Avoid

Tiga -- Sexor [PIAS] -- electroclash posterboys do not great songwriters or vocalists make. And his cover versions suck too ["Burning Down the House"? "Louder Than a Bomb"?]

Dell + Flügel -- Superstructure [Laboratory Instinct] -- terrible attempt at jazzed-up, glitchified electronics from one half of Alter Ego and, erm, some vibrahone player. Not even the sum of its parts. Want good armachair techno with a jazz edge? Try AE's masterpiece Decoding the Hacker Myth and avoid this dreary, uninspired hotel lobby soundtrack

Beyond redemption:

Coldcut -- Sound Mirrors [Ninja Tune] -- words escape me. On par with the last Daft Punk LP, if not worse

Insync vs. Mysteron

First of all, HNY blah-blah etc -- hope you survived. I nearly didn't, as a drunken friend let off some fireworks that hit me in the leg. Take it from me; even fireworks that don't explode can do significant damage, if you're unlucky. I got sick for a week after the party, too. Time to think about that retirement scheme...

So. In Sync has a new release out, I bought it from mr. Purkis personally, along with some other goodies. New label, Fortun8 -- this first release is a limited edition of 300 copies, with two discs, one red, one orange. However, the copies I received had two red discs in them; apparently there was something wrong with one of them, so the red copies of disc 1 were recalled by the manufacturer and replaced with orange copies. This must have been discovered after I received mine; either way, Lee kindly sent me the replacement discs a couple of weeks later and told me to keep the red ones, which I can only assume must be extremely limited. Enough of that already!

's an underground release alright -- indeed, the artist name isn't mentioned anywhere on the release that I can see! -- and the fact that the man hasn't released a bloody thing for eight years hasn't exactly kept his name visible either. Is this release going to put him back on the map? Frankly, I'm not sure -- for an electronic label in today's wintry economic climate, it's find-a-niche-or-die -- Fortun8 is definitely aiming for the collector-appreciators in that respect, with limited pressings, coloured vinyl and all that, and furthermore all the music is strictly analog, right down to the recording medium; here's a label that, in 2006, will not accept masters on CD or even DAT; it's either reel-to-reels or cassettes. Hardcore.

It's a surprisingly ambient-y release; OK, all the tracks bar 1 have that trademark rolling percussion and throbbing bass pulses, but the regular thumpin' kick is conspicious by its absence. Some of it I found a bit noodly at first I have to admit, but C side track "Dune" continues to grow on me; I'm a sucker for those icy synth washes. The track is seriously long, though -- could've used some editing perhaps. On the other hand, the most downtempo one, "Sands of Time", sounds a bit aimless and easily forgotten to me. The tracks on the other disc make up for that -- "Mirage" sounds like it comes straight from the "Android Architect" sessions, and "Sahara"s simple, but dramatic lead line and wonderfully abstract passages create an impressive track which, for a daring DJ, could be a simultaneously epic and marvellously confusing set-opener. A recommended release, altogether.

If I'm not mistaken, the tracks weren't created specifically for this one release, but are taken from In Sync's vault of unreleased tunes, meaning that some of them are probably several years old. However, with his sound being so idiosyncratic in the first place, the tunes sound vintage rather than tired "old skool", and I guess it's a sign of electronic music's maturity that a release which in essence is "nothing new" can still sound as relevant as this.

And with that, the promised In Sync and Insync vs. Mysteron discography round-up!

In Sync -- Storm [Irdial Discs, 1992]

I don't own this, I only have the A side on Irdial's magnificently titled The Are Too Many Fools Following Too Many Rules comp. One hell of a debut, definitely -- on that oddball British label which released some defining early moments from Luke Slater, Neuropolitique et al. Recorded on [oh yes] cassette, the tape noise is cleverly turned into something that indeed sounds like a Storm [the production process wasn't an entirely joyful experience apparently -- read more about it here], and it's one of those tunes where nothing really happens -- it's just a bleepy melody repeated over and over, underpinned by shifting percussion -- but it still manages to sound completely "right". Very alien and minimal for 1992, surely. Whether I want to pay the [high] going rate for it to have it on vinyl remains an open question; I've never heard the B side track "Warm", anyway, so I can't comment on it

In Sync & Pluto -- Ratcatcher EP [Irdial Discs, 1993]

The B side is the one that matters here. I was first introduced to "Subway Route" via R&S' utterly magnificent In Order to Dance 5 compilation, which I purchased [good lord] over ten years ago -- in fact I still consider that double CD a serious contender for best techno compilation ever. "Subway Route" was a perfect addition to that comp and a testament to Renaat's "techno talent scout" instincts at the time; like "Storm", "Subway Route" is incredibly long, but not as raw and monotonous as its predecessor -- rather, it's very streamlined, futuristic, elegant techno which is perfectly suited for nighttime cruising on continental highways. Metallic Basic Channel-y stabs, subtle, understated percussion, hypnotic drive -- a very carefully crafted track, and it sounds brilliant thirteen years on. The influence of Rolo "Pluto" McGinty [a very talented and sadly somewhat forgotten producer] is definitely audible; check his ITP album for similar-sounding music. As for the A side, "Suttees Comet" and "Ratcatcher" are OK housier tracks which sound a bit dated now.

There are two versions of this release, one with plain black labels and one with full logo/info labels. My black label copy also comes with a 30" x 10" insert with all the info printed on it, including one detail I found a bit interesting: Irdial's "internet mail" address. [Yes, that's what it says, and for the extreme archivist, it's irdial@irdialsys.win-uk.net]. If I'm not mistaken, Irdial was one of the very first record labels to embrace the Inter-Web, so that's kinda... cute

In Sync -- Untitled [Irdial Discs, 1993]

Only three copies ever made, before the record was replaced with "Ratcatcher EP". No, I don't have it. No, I'm never going to get it. No, I haven't heard the tunes. But Max, that jammy bugger, owns the third copy, so maybe an MP3 could be sorted out somehow... Max? Maaaaax??? *flutters eyelashes*

In Sync -- Pomping World [Irdial Discs, 1994]

Lee's final release on Irdial, and certainly one of his strangest. The lead cut is a hard kickdrum, loud toms and a few noises essentially; "minimal" alright. Good for mixing [if not for home listening], and it very much sounds like a big warehouse techno party ca. 1994 -- meaning that I quite like it. "Compile" is something else altogether; a disturbing, dark, completely beatless soundscape which reminds me a bit of the ambient tracks Leo Anibaldi sometimes put on his releases, but it fails to leave much of an impression with this listener. "28.8 k" is a fast techno stomper which sounds a bit hurried and thrown together, and it doesn't manage to make much impact. An OK release, but it feels like a not entirely successful experiment all told, and isn't really essential

Insync vs. Mysteron -- Untitled [10th Planet, 1994]

The beginning of a label and a collaboration. Purkis joins forces with David Manuel and Chris Hartley, and voila; the 10th Planet studio and label are born, and some excellent music sees the light of day. brelson's comment explains the tracks very well, so instead of repeating that, I'll add that this release is one of the best and most varied the three of them ever did, ranging from dark & deeply trance-inducing ["Redrain"] to deeply groovy ["Froglocker" - the 303s make me think of the Analord series!] to tough'n'muscular ["Last Outing"]. The trademarks of the "IVM sound" are all here; the complex percussion, the otherworldly strings, the multi-layered approach. Highly recommended

Insync vs. Mysteron -- These Four Walls [10th Planet, 1995?]

Not sure if I break the chronology here; after TPR001, 10th Planet releases don't have release years printed on them. Anyway, I used to own this, then sold it for some stupid jackass reason, before purchasing it again. How clever! Pristine EP through and through, with rattling, deep-bass, outer-space techno in the title cut, a really good forceful techno killer in "New Born Obie", an eerie fast monster called "Nuclear Warheads" [which sounds exactly like its title!] and finally "One Sixty Four", which pounds along at a frantic tempo but still has plenty of atmos. More sci-fi than TPR001, methinks. You need this

Insync vs. Mysteron -- Dissolve EP [Plink Plonk, 1995]

By Purkis and Hartley. Smoother and less incricate than their usual stuff, which probably makes sense as it was released on Mr. C's label. Less off-kilter percussion and more monotonous drive, but still with sufficient depth and emotion to set it apart from the lifeless tech house that sometimes characterized this label [and even more so the one that followed in its wake, namely that sorry imprint The End]. All the tracks on "Dissolve" have a repetitive trance-like quality and excellent sounds. Choice moment: that acidic break after 2/3 of "Inhale", before the track builds up again to a restrained but cool finale. Well worth owning

Insync vs. Mysteron -- Exit 9 [Peacefrog, 1995]

Once again, Purkis and Manuel at the controls. Lee doesn't like this at all himself, judging from this comment. And while it's certainly not their best outing, it's still a worthile listen: That little ravey sound on the title track works much better than it should in their typical melancholic, string-laden electro-techno framework, and the slow, meandering "Audiable Illusion" has some interesting "tribal" percussive elements as well as nice atmospherics. "Sandman", on the other hand, doesn't really go anywhere, and definitely would have satisfied Christopher "Bruce Dickinson" Walken's insatiable need for "more cowbell"

Wookey -- Who's Listening [10th Planet, 1995/6?]

No, not the UK Garage guy. Wookey is Jamie Read, with assistance from Hartley/Purkis/Manuel, and the music is more melodic and Detroit-y and less space cadet-ish than IVM, and absolutely lovely. Releases such as this make me think of the period when "UK tech house" was actually good, with all those As It Is labels [Solid Groove et cetera] who were all on a Motor City-obsessed tip but still sounded original. [Whatever happened to Justin David, for example?] This record offers four slices of warm and emotional music, and all the tracks are winners, with the title track being my favourite. Ace!

IVM2 -- Planetarium [10th Planet, 1996?]

And once again, the best tracks are reserved for 10th Planet. Holy shit, this release is good. OK, so "'R' Future" is a bit run-of-the-mill for these guys [not bad, just a bit unadventurous when compared to their best stuff], but "White Plains" is galactic, analogue-throbbin' techno of the highest order, and the title cut is perhaps my favourite track by them ever -- one of the most wonderful pieces of goosebump-inducing electronic music I've heard in my life. So simple and so beautiful. File next to ART, early Black Dog, B12 and Future Beat Alliance. 10/10

Insync vs. Mysteron -- Rawfish [Shield Records, 1996]

Written by Insync and produced by Mysteron, whatever that implies. This one was released on short-lived French label Shield which also put out that sought-after LA Synthesis album and some DeGiorgio stuff; they had a thing for deep UK electronics, apparently. "Rawfish" is probably their most linear and straightforward track, and it also happens to be really fucking good; proper driving, deeper-than-deep trance which really transports you to another dimension, mentally, when played loud. "Glacius" is another bass-heavy killer which sounds quite similar to "White Plains" from "Planetarium". Closing track "C3PO" isn't all that, but this is still a rock solid release which you need. Thanks to Lee for selling his only copy to me!

In Sync & IF -- MASP [Plink Plonk, 1997]

A collab with Ziggy Pantelli from Megalon. Erm, I've never heard this

Ordinary Folk -- Brain EP [Fragmented Records, 1997]

Lee under a different name. *Cough* I've never heard this either. According to reliable sources, it's worth the investment though...

Jamie Read -- The End of the Beginning [Fragmented Records, 1997]

A collaborative effort between Read and IVM, although the latter aren't credited. Very much along the lines of the Wookey 12" -- impeccable and impossibly lush music somewhere between house, techno and electro, drenched in chords and with loads of percussion going on; the music has an unimitable loose, jazzy, "live" feel without being noodly or lacking in focus. All the tracks are good, and my favourite is definitely the stunning "Outwardly Inward"; another one of those "winter blues" tracks. Hmmmm, should I get it on vinyl as well?

Insync vs Mysteron -- Android Architect [10th Planet, 1997]

Essential album, a masterpiece from start to finish. I remember one reviewer in UK techno mag Magic Feet claiming that the music was so "of the moment" that it was difficult to remember any of it after the record had finished; I think that statement suggests a case of premature Alzheimer. "Science Fact", for example, is a track which will continue to play on repeat in your heart long after you've taken the needle off the record. As with the 3-copies-thing on Irdial, Max beat me to say something clever about this album too, so I suggest you read the comment here [and if I'm not mistaken, our good md even played "Science Fact" on a discogs rave in Glasgow last summer, too]. Hmmmm, should I get it on vinyl as well?

Insync vs. Mysteron -- Tales From The Crypt [FatCat, 1997]

Why isn't this in my collection, I wonder?

Ordinary Folk -- The Beyond / Out of the Darkness [Beyond Music, 1998]

Was this Lee's own label? Well obscure, anyway [only 500 copies I believe, and Beyond never issued anything since], and the last thing Purkis released before his hiatus. "The Beyond" is brilliant -- a dark, brooding techno journey which builds and builds -- and "Out of the Darkness" is perhaps even more brilliant, with more emphasis on heartstopping melody. The only problem with this record is working out which track to play if you're in the middle of a mixing session. Essential

As for omissions from this discography; I didn't include the "Joe Lewis/Louis" releases beacause, erm, I didn't feel like it. Perhaps another day. My suggestion that you buy the Peacefrog comp and light a candle for the actual producers while listening to it still stands, though.

Joe Lewis must die

For crimes against music, theft, and making me look like an idiot.

It turned out that the "Joe Louis" release Netherlands EP on Basement 282 from 1997, which I bought in Berlin, in fact also exclusively contains material stolen from the Insync vs Mysteron/Jamie Read posse. The Beginning and the Ending on his own Target label -- same thing. And then, ten years after he nicked the DAT with the tracks on, he manages to get the same tunes released again on The Return of Joe Lewis compilation LP on Peacefrog and the 12" which accompanied it. Someone needs their eyes gouged out.

Peacefrog haven't uttered a word about this in public, but I assume that the records at least won't be repressed. So if you want them, act quick -- but remember to light a candle for messrs Hartley, Manuel, Purkis and Reid everytime you listen to them.

As it happens, Lee Insync has plans for a new label -- expect a review of its first release, and perhaps a retrospective round-up of Insync vs Mysteron's previous rekkids, right here, as soon as señor Purkis sends that nice little box to me.

Genuine curiousity

OK, of course I already knew fully well that the amount of spam out there threatens to strangulate the entire Inter-Web, I wasn't born yesterday. But people who use the comment fields in blogs for such ends need shot. No, "Simon", I am not at all interested in a "kontessa espresso pot" -- whatever the fuck that is. And why exactly is "the content from my canon copier repair blog simply amazing"?? My what blog?? As The Unabomber's bro famously said in "Bowling for Columbine", there are a lot of wackos out there. And they're trying to make money from my blog, too. Die of AIDS, scumbags.

Another wacko, the Chicago gentleman known as "DJ Alex Torsell", has recently had his account deleted from a certain online discographic site due to an overload of disturbing wackiness on his part, apparently. I shall make an honest endeavour to find a screenshot of his legendary profile.

Other news: well, not much in terms of uplifting stuff I'm tellin' ya, but hey, what else is new? At least records keep turning up in my mailbox; I recently won a top-of-the-wantlist item for an absolutely hideous price. Nihilism is very 2005.

Another update before New Year's - that's a promise. I love you all!

...In retrospect...

Haven't managed to listen to all the records I've bought in Europe yet, but here are five random highlights:

Holographic -- 1st [80 Aum] -- early release from messrs Bout & Hasselaar, whom I suspect went on to become gabba producers. Oh well. Four strong cuts from when "hard trance" actually meant something. Serious hypnotic action here [the tunes tend to go on a bit, but it doesn't really matter]. Now I only have to locate the three other twelves, the one on ID&T I don't have + the Virtual Structures twelve. [How can an early 90's techno release called "Virtual Structures" not be good?] Standout cut: "Gone"

Querida -- Object Orient EP [Kanzleramt] -- as a largely former fan of both Ian O'Brien and the Kanzleramt label, this release renewed my faith in both. O'Brien did little wrong when he was on that UR-obsessed tip on his Ferox releases, but he lost me with his subsequent noodly jazz excursions [going back to his pre-techno "musician" roots, I assume, and I remember thinking at the time that the techno he did was at least fun while it lasted -- I didn't really expect any more cracking releases from the guy]. Kanzleramt, meanwhile, sorta became a fashionable techhouse label that I stopped buying, ooh, three years ago? Then this release arrived, and it's easily one of the best new things I've heard for months on the strength of one track. Cos while "Jupiter 6" and "Yes!" are both good melodic techno cuts, the one you need to hear is "3-5-3", whose broken industrial beats and irresistible groove reveal that Ian must have been paying attention to Surgeon lately. But instead of just copying ideas, his trademark jazzy melodics are added, and incredibly, it works. Miss at your own peril

Mig -- Passing Io EP [Zodiak Commune] -- played by cthulhu on the acid party in Ghent to devastating effect, and it sounds just as good without sweaty Belgians going mental to it. Excellent fast-paced acid which doesn't require a hard 303 set to be played -- just pitch it down a little and you have a tranced-out killer that sounds like something Robert Leiner could have DJ'd in 1993. [It's that good]. I had no idea people are still making music like this, but I hope they continue doing so. Loud and nice cut as well

Cusp -- Drone Um Futurisma [Probe] -- I already have the compilation CD on Swim but couldn't pass on the opportunity to own this track on vinyl. Up there with "Gravitational Arch of 10", surely -- when that bassline comes in...

Joe Louis -- Netherlands EP [Basement 282] -- apparently on quite a few people's wantlists although it's nowhere near as rare as some of Louis' really early Target releases [which I don't expect ever to own, unless I should suddenly become a millionaire]. I know next to nothing about Joe Louis, or Lewis, or R. Lewis, except that he's one of these more anonymous Chicago cats who's released class music mainly to the adulation of the Very Serious House Cognoscenti for years without getting much exposure outside the circles of the knowledgeable few. Seems like he's no stranger to the more dodgy sides of the business either, seeing as he's stolen music from the Insync vs. Mysteron posse on this release, which I was quite shocked to learn -- I've had that EP for ages but never had a clue that it contained other people's [excellent] music. Whether I should buy his new Peacefrog LP and thereby support such an immoral twat financially remains an open question, but at least he didn't make a penny on me purchasing this EP, as it was bought second hand. Musically, it's not difficult to understand how he could pass of Insync vs. Mysteron's music as his own, as it's definitely of the same ilk: Busy, off-kilter percussion, lush synths and deep basslines. Standout track: "Weird Science"

OK, that's five for today. Maybe another five next week. I've got mail coming my way, too.

I did Europe

I've been away for a bit. Here's a summary of the last 12 days.

Friday, Aug 19

It doesn't start too well.

The one thing you need to know about sitting on an airport express bus way too early in the morning whilst realizing that it's a good chance you'll miss your flight, is this; the feeling of being extremely tired, extremely hungry and at the same time close to a panic attack and a mental breakdown is very uncomfortable indeed.

It's all too rough for me, this, having to get up at 4.50 in the morning to make it to the bus, and having to to walk for 45 minutes to the bus station because there's no public transportation available at this ungodly hour.

Do I catch my bus? Do I fuck.

And is the next bus on time? Is it bollocks.

Alright, I say to myself. It's all been a waste of time. That (drunken) email to cthulhu303 at the end of May, where I was so pissed off with Oslo that I not only invited myself to Belgium but also demanded that he came up with a hard acid party with himself on the line-up. Which he did.

The email to my chum Martin, who moved to Berlin a few months ago, hoping that I could get the opportunity to make it a Continental KK Tour 2005 and that he'd offer accomodation in the German capital. Which he did.

The way I casually mentioned that I was going to Berlin to the one and only Finn when I met him in Glasgow, hoping that he'd reply: "Great! Let's go record shopping and then drink beer and listen to deep house at my place". Which he did. OK, not in those exact words. But the gist was there.

It was all coming together so neatly. And now silly, silly me has wasted it all because I've missed my fucking bus.

Oslo Airport Gardermoen, 5 minutes after check-in is officially closed: a panic-stricken maniac can be seen running towards some important-looking person behind a counter, where the maniac somehow manages to get the message across that he's really really late and terribly sorry but could he still get on the plane pretty please?

With a mildly authoritarian voice, the important-looking person tells the panic-stricken maniac to get an earlier bus next time, before checking him in.

Man, that was too fucking close.

So, what's next? I can tackle just about anything now. Plane takes off right on time, anyway. I start reading a book. Its plot revolves around a plane crash.

930 and it's touchdown Belgique. The airport is called, simply, National. Before you pick up your luggage, there's a 5 mile walk inside the terminal building. "Welcome to Belgium, the heart of Europe", posters say, with pictures of motorways and a roundabout. On the speakers, some woman sings in French.

Yeah, this must be Europe.

Luggage pick-up, then cash withdrawal. Belgian cash machines' most defining characteristic is this: They usually don't work. Fortunately the third and final one I find on the airport decides to be cooperative, but it has to serve a dozen middle-aged, incompetent Italians first. Unfortunately, this [the cash machines, not the Italians] turns out to be a bad omen.

Train to Brussels, SMS to cthulhu. He'll pick me up at the Central Station, he says, along with "the other one". Apparently, another ogger will attend tonight's rave, but cthulhu keeps said ogger's identity a closely guarded secret. He likes to surprise people, our cthulhu.

Central Station, and cthulhu's there indeed. The other one turns out to be mayday, much like I suspected. Breakfast [finally -- it's 1130], then record shopping. The first destination is Music Man, which is very much enjoyed. Lots of current things and a decent backstock. Shopping-wise, a precedent is set for my behaviour during the trip: I go berserk. Fill some embarassing holes in my collection including the Gaiden 12" with the Speedy J remix and the Patterns/Punnik doublepack on NovaMute, Tephra EP on Axis and an excellent Metro Dade 12" on Music Man. Also get the first Mad Eye and Ian O'Brien's release on Kanzleramt [these two turn out to make a cracking mix together]. Oh, and the Stalingrad twelves on Bunker. God no, I told myself I wasn't going to start buying all that Bunker and Viewlexx stuff.

Across the street is Stress the Bass, a d'n'b shop. Very small and specialized selection. I don't buy anything. We then decide it's about time to get tourist-y and consume some waffles. Now, the one thing you need to know about Belgian waffles is this: you'll look ridiculous when you eat them. You'll spill whipped cream and melted chocolate everywhere and everyone will laugh at you. Could we have more napkins, please? Miraculously, I don't spill anything on my clothes.

I insist that we go to the mediocre second-hand shop Le Depot. They have a lot of comics and almost as many seven-inches. I do my utmost to receive ridicule from the other two when I pick out two Cyndi Lauper seven-inches that I not only have already, but also decide to purchase because [take a deep breath now] I don't have them with picture sleeves.

Next shop is going to be better, says cthulhu. It's right next to that statue of the peeing boy. Now, the main thing you need to know about Manneken-Pis is that it's small. Really fucking small -- the statue itself is hardly more than a feet tall. It's surrounded by Japanse people with cameras.

The next shop is Arlequin, which is second-hand only. They have a lot of records. Too many, almost. Loads ands loads of old techno, and a lot of it is either rubbish or stuff I have already, but some absolute gems too. Purchase a Nova Nova 12" on F Comm, a U-Star record, a Loophole on Touché, Dissidenten on Eye Q [finally!] and those infinitely-better-than-the-original remixes of Fragile on Superstition. I can't really be bothered to sift through the industrial and new wave sections [sleep deprivation is starting to take its toll], but I can imagine fans of alternative 80's stuff having a field day in here.

The final shop for the day is Le Bonheur, which caters for the newer leftfield-y stuff -- experimental electronics, avant garde, IDM, breakcore. Mostly CDs but some vinyl too. The guy behind the counter is a weird man of few words. So, do I buy any breakcore? But of course.

Pub. I have a couple of Leffe's. cthulhu's cousin [Nic] arrives, he's got an eccentric English accent but is a nice bloke. Later on, easy_e arrives too, so it's definitely an Offical Ogsmeet as there are four of us plus one discogs-voyeur.

We need food now. cthulhu's well prepared in that department and has plotted a visit to a restaurant with Belgian cuisine. There's only one flaw in this plan: The restaurant is closed. For good. We go to an Italian one instead, with a very talkative owner and nice food which is also very cheap. I'm all set for a party.

Car. We're going to Ghent, and impatient as I am, I think it takes forever. I keep asking cthulhu if we're in France/Luxembourg/Russia yet. It starts raining like hell, then it stops, then it starts again. Finally, we arrive, and I decide to change my wardrobe and put on my green-and-white, illuminating, 90's-retro Rave Outfit, which seems to be appreciated.

OK, mayday and myself need some money now. Only thing is, the two cash machines nearby are of course out of order. No way I'm going to rave for hours with only 12 Euros in my wallet. We have to find a cashpoint that works. cthulhu says there's one next to the train station. To get there, we have to walk through a park. It takes almost an hour. My feet start to ache and my eyes feel like they're not going to remain open unless I use matchsticks, so I have a Red Bull.

Then we enter the party. I like the venue; it's basic and not fancy at all but it works. No control whatsoever at the door; no way you could do this in Oslo. The crowd is quite mixed, the beer is cheap and the vibe is picking up; this looks good.

Apparently we missed Posthuman's live set, but according to reliable sources [ahem] it wasn't particularly memorable either. Zeck, however, is playing a good DJ set. "I have all the records", exclaims cthulhu. Very solid acid, nicely mixed. I like it, particularly because I've never been to a party where this kind of music is being played extensively before, except some sets in Tordön last year. Chats are had with organiser and weirdly-named ogger .. aka Phobiak. L-Reak [aka Will303] is next, and he's good too [Evil A.D.! Whoo!], although the mixing's a bit rough around the edges a few times and "Black Sea" doesn't really work at +8. In the middle of his set, the sound system appears to break down, and we all fear that the night is going to be ruined. That little fella I just had doesn't seem to work, either. And where's vdweghe?

But no worries. The sound system comes back on, L-Reak finishes and cthulhu starts. His set is by far the best and most varied of the night, and these facts are connected; instead of playing hard record after hard record, he injects a few unexpected twists and tempo changes, like playing Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. He takes it up a notch or five towards the end, as we approach and even surpass the 180 bpm mark. Some personal highlights that go straight into my wantlist are No Man's Land on Bonzai and the Mig 10" on Zodiak Commune. Very tight mixing as usual, too. Nicely done sir!

Metamorph is next, and although his technical skills are practically flawless, his approach is a bit too unimaginative and one-dimensional for me ["linear" is the word we agree on]. However, some of the tunes are absolutely cracking and make me soil my pants -- I'm sure one of them was a Choose or Zekt one, so it's probably frustratingly hard to find, too. Phobiak then joins him for a bit of back-to-back action, and although he seems to be struggling a bit behind the decks, the tunes are of really high quality. But with this being a bit of an unfamiliar world to me I've almost given up trainspotting by now (!). Instead, talks are had with various peoples, including parazoid, whom I've never met before.

We have a long drive ahead of us, so we decide to leave around 6.30. As we make our way to the car, I suspect that the little round one perhaps has had an effect after all. A wicked party it was anyways.

We drop off Nic. Then easy_e. Then go to the R'lyeh Barracks, which at the moment is situated in a small-ish town called Huy. It's almost 9 o'clock and my body is trying to tell me I've been up for 28 hours straight.

Well, OK then. Off to bed.

Saturday, Aug 20

Sleep.

Then slowly getting out of bed.

Then a bit of food.

Then a bit of whisky, talking and listening to CDs (mostly cthulhu mixes).

Then sleep again.

We're not 19 anymore, I guess.

Sunday, Aug 21

Cratedigging in the R'lyeh Barracks. The records are mostly in the basement, so we have to bring them up to the music room to listen. mayday's and kk's wantlists quickly increase, to the point where I want every Zekt or Choose ever released. cthulhu expertly guides us through the Kill Outs and Djungle Fevers. In between listening sessions, a tasty lunch is enjoyed. It's prepared by cthulhu in the same way as he plays records, i.e. skillfully. I guess I should be relaxed and at ease by now, but I'm not as the aftershocks of that exhausting Friday refuse to disappear. I feel awkwardly restless. Meh.

Then we follow mayday to the local train station and say goodbye; London awaits him. The walk back through town sorts me out, finally. After returning, we enjoy yet another nice meal and chill out. More whiskey is consumed, and although I'm a complete novice in the field I start to enjoy the one we're drinking -- a Bowmore Islay, apparently.

I win a record on ebay, then go to sleep.

Monday, Aug 22

cthulhu's got work to do. So do I, as I have a few reviews to write for my magazine. Now, the only one thing you need to know about Belgian keyboards is this: They're weird. Almost every key is situated at the wrong place. As they don't have Norwegian special characters either, typing one page takes me about two hours.

Later on, after fucking about for the longest time with regards to how to get my ass to Berlin, I finally get round to order Easyjet tickets from Maastricht to Schönefeld. I realized I'd have saved 20 Euros if I'd ordered one day earlier -- bollocks!

After yet another tasty dinner, we're off for some beer tasting -- I'd obviously be an idiot if I left Belgium without having checked out a selection local brands. Downtown Huy is not exactly fast-paced on a Monday night, but definitely charming and with more appealing architecture than your average European medium-sized town.

We find a decent pub and go through the following brands. I'm not a qualified person to say anything clever about beer tasting so these are just an amateur's thoughts:

-- a Kriek [can't remember which one] -- a very sweet cherry beer which apparently is favoured by girls. I quite like it but more than one bottle would be, well, too much
-- Chimey -- a highly enjoyed dark beer [9%] that I'd definitely want to taste again. Recommended
-- Duvel -- the name means "Devil", and I can see why. It's slightly on the bitter side but all in all the taste is quite discreet, so you could easily drink lots of them without noticing that it's in fact 8,5 % and therefore can have potentially fatal and, well, devilish consequences. Good beer though
-- Rodenbach -- another sweet/fruity one which still isn't as in-yer-face sweet as a Kriek. Couldn't really make up my mind about this one
-- Trappistes Rochefort -- at 11,3%, this dark beer is definitely also the one with the most character of the lot. Too many glasses would do my head in but one is just perfect. Hit the spot.

Alright, let's go home before I feel like drinking even more beer.

Tuesday, Aug 23

I always wanted too see Antwerp.

OK, that's a lie. But there are a couple of legendary record shops in this city that need to be checked out. cthulhu's not up for it, so I go solo. After changing trains in Brussels, I'm there.

I can say even fewer clever things about Antwerp than I can say about beer. All I can say is that there are narrow streets, no waffles [that I could find], several trams and a very majestic looking train station which is tainted by horrible muzak. Sorry, but I didn't see much more of Antwerp than the interior of two record shops.

However, I can say several things about Record Collector.

The Record Collector in question is not the magazine but a record shop. The biggest one I've ever seen, in fact. mayday and miaowzik had a good time here a year ago, so why shouldn't I?

Now, Record Collector isn't one of those shops that has "thousands of records". Any shop can claim that. But Record Collector has a million records. Literally. And these 1.000.000 records are spread over four floors, all of them absolutely packed with vinyl. Ground floor is mostly rock, jazz and funk, first floor is seven-inches only, floors two and three are twelve inches. Sounds like paradise, right? Well, not really.

The fact that Record Collector is the messiest, filthiest shop you can imagine, where everything is completely unsorted, is one thing. On floors two and three, the records are in no coherent order whatsoever -- they're sometimes scattered across the floor, sometimes piled on top of each other so that you have have to climb over them, and all over the place: seven-inches, seven-inches, bloody fucking seven-inches that fall out of their shelves and land on top of other piles -- eventually you treat them like trash and throw them about to get them out of your sight. It's the format that noone wants anymore unless its nothern soul or punk, clogging up shops everywhere. I've seen the secret seven-inch graveyeard, and its name is Record Collector.

But this messiness is one thing, and in a way, I'm used to it -- I'm no stranger to dirty second hand shops. However, the main problem with Record Collector is that the selection is so poor. See, the reason I can survive several hours in London's bargain basements is that when you've flicked through thousand records, you'll find a gem. Not so here. After digging for a while, you realize that the records have been sitting there for years and years, that new stuff comes in very rarely, and that the vultures have been here already and picked the best bits. Fortunately, the shop has listening posts, so you avoid chance buys that turn out to be poo. After three hours, I've found one record.

One bloody record.

So, take it as a word of advice: If electronic music is what you're into, and you're not a complete masochist, Record Collector isn't worth it.

Frustrated and tired, I decide to visit the other shop I want to check -- Wally's Groove World. It used to be fantastic, one of the best in the world if I'm not mistaken. But WGW has also become a frustrating place -- but for other reasons.

When you arrive, it's fairly unspectacular. The street-level part of the shop has an ok selection of new stuff, mostly tech-house and such. In a corner, you'll find a "classics" selection that mostly consists of multiple copies of some R&S releases that for some reason are all without outer sleeves. In another corner, you'll find fifty copies of certain Djax titles like Phuture The Next Generation. [WGW bought the entire Djax back cat a few years ago].

However, WGW has a basement. An amazing basement. But you're not allowed to go down there. What you can do, however, is to search their online shop [they have computers where you can browse the database] and then, in what truly is a weird combination of virtual and actual shopping, hand reference numbers to the staff, whereupon they'll go down to the basement and pick out the records for you. It's not ideal. But it's better than nothing.

Another thing you need to know about Wally's Groove World is this: It appears that you can get nice discounts if you buy their backstock items in person rather than via the web. The guy at the counter doesn't seem to mind having to go down to the basement 4 times to pick out stuff for me, and then he proceeds to give me discounts for every single item and then a discount on the total. I still end up spending 120 Euros though, so it's not that he should complain. Neither can I, really, seeing as I picked up Cusp and 0733 on Probe, X-Crash on Peacefrog, three Djax titles, two Strobe releases, Beltram Vol II and the new Passarani album. Guess my trip to Antwerp was worthwhile after all, then. But I'd really like to go down to that basement.

When I get home, cthulhu has a nice surprise for me: Belgian beer and food, which he finds appropriate as it's my last day in the R'hys Barracks. Steak and fries is on the menu [he's embarassed to serve something that only takes 20 minutes to prepare, but the dinner he's made for me is exactly what I need], plus another fine selection of local beverages. First there's a Ciney, which turns out to be my favourite blond beer of the one's I've tried. Then a Westmalle dubel, which conversely is my favourite of the dark ones -- even better than the Trappiste Rochefort IMO -- before I finish off with a Westmalle tripel [a 9,5% beer] -- another good blond, not as good as Ciney but one that I'd be sad never to taste again.

Before hitting the sack, I go record shopping in R'lyeh [aka "cthulhu's record stall"]. Result: an Advent 12", an Anibaldi LP with gatefold sleeve and an old Orlando Voorn. Sorry for passing on the 103%, maybe later.

Wednesday, Aug 24

Goodbye cthulhu. Goodbye Huy. Dunno if I manage to express my gratitude enough. Too many things on my mind.

I've got a stressful day ahead of me. Less neurotic people can apparently manage this with casual ease. But for a major worryhead like myself, today's battleplan has too many "but"s and "if"s for me to avoid a breakdown.

Let's see: I only need to take a train to Brussels, then hope that Jooles will reply to my SMS in time so that we can hook up, then later find a train to Liege, then another train to Maastricht, then find that record shop in Maastricht, then figure out how to get to the airport, then take the plane to Berlin and catch up with Finn.

Piece of cake, really.

Jooles greets me at the central station; he's got a post-festival cold and a post-festival empty wallet. We go to Le Bonheur again, as they have a few CDs that I didn't pick up last time. They claim to open at 11am, but they're closed when we arrive at 1130. Instead, we have a sandwich across the street, where we experience Brussels service at its, ahem, best. The food is nice, though. Weird man of few words turns up and opens Le Bonheur. We go in, and I ask where the Ambivalence section is. "There is no Ambivalence section", he says. OK, so I browse through the shelves myself and eventually find the CD I want. It's located in a section clearly marked with a plastic sign. It says "Ambivalence". I also buy a U-Cover CD and a discounted Sandoz double disc. Somewhere in the middle of all this, Finn replies to my message. Good. Everything is under control. I think.

We walk around for a bit, find another vinyl shop where I almost buy a Surgeon 12", but it's got a scratch. As we approach Manneken-Pis, Jooles says I should "prepare for a culture shock" with reference to the size of the Wiener Statue, which I shall henceforth call it. "I've already had it", I say.

Another waffle. I've learned from my mistakes and order one with only chocolate this time, which must surely be easier to eat. 5 minutes later, it's all over my shirt.

Buy a train ticket Liege-Maastricht, then we go to a pub. I have a Tongerlo, which turns out to be an ok but fairly bland beer. Then we say goodbye after a much too brief but nice meet. Till next time, Jooles!

Train. I'm concerned that I won't find that record shop in Maastricht, and if I do indeed find it, that I'll get stuck there and have another nerve-wrecking experience with regards to transportation.

To cut a long story short, figuring out how to get from the train station to the airport is a right hassle, and finding the record shop easier. It's called Sirius and used to be cthulhu's favourite, apparently it's not that good anymore, but it's still worth a visit. Amazingly, the first record I see is that Mig 10" he played on the acid party, so it only had the honour of being on my wantlist for 5 days. There's good backstock to be found here too, and some nice discount items -- how often do you find the Radiation remixes on Direct Drive these days? Or the first Harmon Eyes on Loop [5 Euros, that one]? I have both, but a friend of mine's been after them for ages, so into the bag they go. So do Drax Ltd. IV, the Digital Justice on Fragile, REC -- Batter Up, a Nurture 12" and that old rave hit by Bazz, "H.A.R.M.O.N.Y." -- tune! I also find a really elusive CD-only album on Djax by Optic Crux. Very nice shop indeed.

I realize I'm late and run like a maniac [again] to the bus station. 25 minutes later, I arrive at Maastrich Aachen Airport, which is the smallest airport I've ever been to -- it's located right next to a drive-in motel which is twice the size of the terminal building.

Plane takes off right on time. I finish my book.

Arrival: Schönefeld. German efficiency; the plane is ahead of schedule, and my bag shows up on the conveyor belt 20 seconds after I arrive in the hall. Finn arrives, then drives me to his spacious and highly comfortable flat.

Music. Lots of it. Six thousand records, two decks, one room. I could spend months in here. Finn plays me Italian deep house, selected requests from the top of my head and some gems I didn't know about. I wantlist all of them. Beer. Music. Talk. We could go on forever, if it wasn't for the fact that the long day has tired me a bit. We're running out of beer too.

Thursday, Aug 25

Slowly wake up, then breakfast. Finn insists that I taste the Indonesian Satay Sauce. It's got peanuts in it, so I'm not sure, but what the heck. Two seconds later, I'm hooked.

Time for some serious record shopping. This ain't for whimps.

Hard Wax first, of course. Now, Hard Wax isn't what it used to be, and I can say this because I've been there twice, in 1995 and 2000. But it's still a Premier League shop. More holes are filled -- I decide to buy all the Main Street 12"es just for the hell of it, plus missing UR's, Metroplex'es and KMS'es.

Next up is a branch of Space Hall. Techno, electronics, rock, experimental rackets, they've got it all. I buy two Speed Jack twelves, the only Every Dog Has Its Day that ever made it to my wantlist [Vol 3], a Kosmic Messenger, Emmanuel Top's "Lobotomie", Zero Gravity's very rare "Sensorium" and, in the spirit of eclectism, a Talking Heads LP.

On to my most anticipated shop; the Space Hall mothership. There are two things you need to know about Space Hall: It's got one of the world's best techno backstocks, and one of the world's most flatly unlikeable staffs. Purchased: Experimental 04, the first Holographic, Afrotrance III, Chip I by Microbots, two old DJ Hell records on Disko B, and some other things. Then after I've finished, I half-heartedly flick through some CDs in the "downtempo/lounge" section only to find the impossibly rare original Virtual Sex CD on Buzz, with glasses and everything, for a measly 11 Euros. Wow.

Back home. Finn's significant other M turns up, and we go to Lidl and then to a local kebab shop. 0x00 has raved about it, and the food is fantastic indeed. Man, I'm being spoilt.

More music and more beer. M has to hit the sack early due to work commitments, but Finn and I have no such concerns to worry about. Somehow that case with 20 bottles [0,5 l. bottles!] of Krusovice is emptied, now how the hell did that happen? I play some techno I've bought, Finn spins some absolutely classic deep house including two Caucasian Boy records that, right there and then, sounds like some of the best music ever made. Somewhere around 5 am, it gets all squoshy with a hefty dose of Prefab Sprout.

I think I remember going to bed.

Friday, Aug 26

It's 4 pm and my head hurts. "I feel more kk'ed by the minute", says Finn.

It wasn't so bad when I woke up and decided to put on an early 90's deep Italian set, mixing my way through the right corner of the middle shelf right next to the door.

But right now, I'm not so grand.

Can't think about that now. It's time to hook up with Martin, my [non-ogging] Norwegian friend who's lived here for half a year now. He's managed to get a recording deal and some live gigs under the name Tetsuo, and he's my host for the next few days. As it turns out, he lives in a formerly squatted building in Friedrichshain, in a somewhat rough area where the people on the other side of the street play really loud punk music the entire day. He shares a flat with a charming but somewhat eccentric married couple and their four cats. The couple has a puzzling habit of blasting into furious rows every now and then. The cats have an annoying habit of trying to run away all the time.

It's Friday, so some nightlife is in order. Only problem is, my hangover is really starting to grab me by the balls now. I feel like shit, and realize that the "hair of the dog" treatment is the only cure. We go to some café nearby, where we meet Martin's friends Sebastian and some guy whose name I can't remember. The café seems to be very hipster-ish, and I dislike it instantly. Somehow I also get the impression that this Sebastian fella blends in a little too easily with the rest of the clientele. Oh well.

A couple of beers and I feel better. Since two of us are Norwegian, we decide to not do as the Romans and instead go back to Seb's flat to drink some recently purchased beverages in true Viking "vorspiel" stylee [we do this in Norway as alcohol is so fucking expensive. Amusingly, we call it "vorspiel" although "vorspiel" in German means foreplay to sex]. On our way, we pass by something Seb calls "Front 242 square" because it looks like the Geography sleeve. I take it that this means that he might not be the 23 years he looks like he is, but more like, hm, 30? This turns out to be right.

Seb's flat is messy and looks temporary, but I avoid asking if he moved in recently; smart move, apparently, cos it turns out that he's lived there for quite some time. Hundreds of CDs in the livingroom, but he prefers to play music from his computer. He puts on a fantastic Cabaret Voltaire track and an early Marathon thing that immediately goes into my wantlist. As the evening progresses, Seb turns out to be a cool cat indeed and not at all like I thought. I guess this means that I've learned for the 361. time that I'm crap at judging people and really shouldn't.

We go out. No superclubbing planned for today -- instead, we decide to go Scandinavian all the way and get drunk in cheap, horrible bars. Martin was introduced to the world of alcoholic beverages only about a year ago [it must be added that he's seven years younger than me], and it shows -- being a man of few inhibitions in the first place, a bottle of white makes him go baboon, jumping all over the place and talking loads of nonsense. It's all good fun though. The first place we go to is just a hole in the wall with some girl DJing and a lot of drunk people. After a while, we discover that we've just gatecrashed someone's wedding party. It's alright though, cos Sebastian knows the groom. Then we go to a rock pub with bad music, some karaoke pub with no karaoke but even worse music [Martin knows the owner, apparently], then finally some place that looks like Stargate Pub in Oslo, which isn't really a compliment. Seb says goodbye, and then Martin and myself decide it's time to get home. It takes us two hours due to no sense of direction, conversations with random people on the street, a döner which is the best I've ever tasted and having silly pictures taken in a photobox.

When I finally go to bed at 6am, I very much feel like a Norwegian who's abroad for the first time in his life. Mind you, this isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Saturday, Aug 27

Fuck.

I haven't felt this terrible since, well, Glasgow on Sunday afternoon.

My plan was to go record shopping today. But it's impossible in the state that I'm in. I have just about enough energy to get a huge and delicious burger across the street, but after I've eaten it, I'm too knackered to even think about doing anything else than lie down in bed.

Eventually I realize that it's a bit of a big day today. Martin's got a live gig in a club tonight, so I have to somehow get my head in working order. But how?

Oh yes, beer. I force it down my throat. It works, but not as well as I wish.

We go to a place called Wedding. No really, that's what it's called. The purpose of the visit is to pick up some press photos of Martin. The girl who's taken the photos walks around on crutches due to a recent bike accident. Apparently you can't be too careful in this city.

The gig takes place at a club called Golden Gate. It takes us ages to find it. When we finally get there, the place is deserted save from the bar men and two dogs of the sturdy, short-haired variety that you see everywhere in this city. Someone tells me that the club is illegal, but the cops don't care.

How very Berlin.

Sebastian is DJing when we arrive. After an hour or so, a few more people -- regulars, I assume -- turn up, so the crowd is now officially just over 10 people. Hooray! Martin starts playing his electropop-with-vocals thing, and it sounds better than last time I heard him, but the place is absolutely dead so it's a bit difficult to enjoy. The action of the night is provided by two local drugged-up zombies who keep hassling Martin for some reason. I have to tell one of them to fuck off. He's eventually kicked out.

When the gig is over, we decide it's time to leave immediately. It's been a disastrous night in whatever way you want to measure it, and I long for a bed. Martin wants to keep clubbing for a bit so I take his laptop and his three feet long toy crocodile with me [don't ask].

Great. I'm in Berlin on a Saturday, and the highlight of the night was to take a piss after that long subway ride [I thought I was going to explode].

Sleep never felt so good before.

Sunday, Aug 28

After 10 hrs. in bed, I think I've recovered.

Today's plan is to walk around in the city with Finn and perhaps do some crate digging in the fleamarkets. However, mr. Johanssen was DJing the night before, so I assume that he'll need a few hours to wake up and get ready, and I decide to take a walk around Berlin by myself.

Berlin is indeed fascinating to the extreme, and one can easily see how difficult it is to remove the traces of 40 years of communist rule. Some areas have managed to create a freaky, colourful edge to the worn-down tristesse, but other areas are just depressing, like those enormous 1950's-style apartment buildings that you see everywhere. The fact that the city is absolutely bankrupt doesn't exactly help, and the Berlin boom that everyone's been waiting for since 1989 still hasn't really happened. However, the fact that Berlin remains a very un-streamlined and financially poor city also manifests itself in cheap housing and a rich cultural life, and a huge amount of cafe's. Amusingly, one of the many dozens I walk past is called Bangin. Now, another of the many things you need to know about Berlin is this: It's huge. Geographically, it must be at least as spread-out as London, but with less than one third of London's population, there's also space to breathe and less congested traffic. Bikes are essential if you live here.

As I walk the streets of Prenzlauer Berg, Finn SMSes and tells me that due to some unfortunate circumstances he can't join me today. The wedding organiser didn't bother to pay him the night before, either. With his recent and almost fatal bike accident in mind, I realize how quickly bad luck can sometimes strike you, and usually several times over once it's started.

As I walk back home, I find a microscopic record shop called On Off [I think], where I manage to find some gems in their miniscule stock: a Buzz LP, "Hypnotic Tango" [second copy], a Joe Louis on Basement 282, Wookey on 10th Planet and an old Planet Rhythm. 3 Euros each -- yes please!

For stupid reasons, I have to get back on the tube and wait for Martin on a bench. Back home, we rent a DVD [Royal Tenenbaums, enjoyed], then it's out clubbing again, with Martin and Seb for the third night in a row. The place is called Mama and looks like someone's livingroom, which is probably exactly what it is. Legal? Nope. But packed -- there's at least 100 people there, which is a lot for a livingroom. When we arrive, Seb is playing a DJ set which is more or less identical to the one he played the night before, only this time he's got an audience. A terrible band then plays a live gig. Their microphone is tied to a vacuum cleaner placed on top of an old TV. Martin then does a small DJ set ["small" being the operative word -- he's brought ten CDs]. Crowd is shrinking by the minute, despite porn cartoons being screened. Martin tries to chat up a local girl. Successfully so, it appears. Phone numbers are exchanged, anyway. Well done! Then we walk home; they're out of beers and we're out of inspiration. Getting back home takes us one hour. To make time pass quicker, Martin provides a detailed account of his favourite South Park episode.

The döner was good today too, but not as good as last time.

Monday, Aug 29

I really shouldn't buy any more records. I fear that my return journey is going to be a logistic nightmare and that I have to leave either records or my sleeping bag behind to be able to get back to Norway.

But I'm in a nihilistic mood, so we go to Freizeitglauben, a decent record shop near Frankfurter Tor. Martin manages to sell them a few copies of his own releases. I pick up a Taksi 12" and that rare first Advent album.

In the evening, Finn shows up. He brings all the records that I left in his flat. We chat for a while, and while we're both in the mood for a few beers, it can't happen tonight, sadly. Shame.

It's my last night in Berlin, so I should be on a mission to get insanely drunk. Instead, we rent Ed Wood on DVD and go to bed.

Tuesday, Aug 30

Discover I can easily manage to squeeze another 20 records into my luggage. Oh joy.

We go to Drehmoment, whose stock is a curious mix of electro, techno and industrial. I finally pick up the Prodigy mixes of Front 242 for a very reasonable 8 Euros, and an old Kano album. Apparently there's another shop in the area where the De:Bug crew likes to shop, but we can't find it.

Then comes the worst part of the trip: carrying my luggage to the plane. When I'm finally at the train station, my arms feel one foot longer. Oh well.

As I board Norwegian Airlines, I want to kick myself for still living in Oslo. I don't want to go back to Norway, the country north of Europe. And after a trip like this, why should I? Brilliant people have taken care of me much better than I deserve. I've spent all my savings. I've tasted excellent beers and had hangovers from hell. I want to live like this all the time. OK, so my Berlin nightlife exploits were a bit disappointing all told, but you can't have it all, can you?

Plane, train, bus, home. I unpack the tax-free bottle of vodka I bought on the plane [emergency solution, I forgot to buy some in Berlin]. It has the embarassing name Vikingfjord. On the label, it says: "Vikingfjord vodka comes from Norway, where quality and excellence is a way of life".

Yeah. Fucking. Right.